The Pepsi Thief

Toastmasters International
Communication and Leadership Program
Project 6
"The Pepsi Thief"
by Paul T. Abramson

The following is based on a true story.

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom formerly known as Siam, there lived a fair maiden. So beautiful was she, her mother called her Mao because she moved with the grace of a cat. Mao had a passion for the culinary arts and dreamed of one day becoming a master chef and owning her own restaurant.

Upon her twentieth year, the young maiden fell in love with a dashing naval officer named Dang, who unfortunately was married. “Wait for me one year, my beloved,” he promised. “I shall divorce my wife and you and I shall wed.”

A year passed, and the wife bore the naval officer a child. “Wait for me one more year, and we shall be together till death do us part.”

So deep was Mao’s love for the handsome Dang, she agreed. She kept herself chaste. No other man was so deserving of her affections as was her beloved Dang. But alas, poor Mao’s faith and heart were broken. Another year had passed, and the wife bore the naval officer yet another child. No divorce was ever considered. The maiden, so distraught, drank her tears away for one week’s span.

It was during the waiting period that Mao received many letters from a gentleman named Hom. Mao did not reply, though Hom was quite persistent. Upon her return home, she met Hom and instructed him that, if he truly liked her, he should meet her parents and formally ask them for their daughter’s hand in marriage. So ‘twas done.

The couple was blessed with two children, a son named Keen and a daughter named Aeu.

Hom’s job kept them apart for months on end. When Aeu was a mere five years old, the marriage was over. There had been no love, only like. They parted amicably, but Mao was left to raise her two young children on her own since there were no laws regarding alimony and child support.

More time passed, and Mao soon met Sompang. A new romance arose. They were more than boyfriend and girlfriend. They were business partners. At last, Mao had her restaurant. Life was good.

But the happiness would not last. Tragedy struck. Mao’s father was sent to heaven.

Now in charge of the family, Mao invited her mother and two younger brothers to live with her. To show their gratitude, the brothers agreed to work in the restaurant without compensation. This was their first job, and food was all they requested. Sompang was not convinced.

To make ends meet, Mao took on a second job. She awoke early each morning to work as a Deputy District Officer, cooking meals for over four hundred government employees. It was hard work, and she loved it. She was cooking to her heart’s delight and earning more money than she ever dreamed possible. This continued for two years.

Meanwhile, Sompang revealed his dislike for Mao’s beloved mother and devoted brothers. He complained bitterly, and finally a feud began. One day, one of the brothers became thirsty at work. He quenched his thirst by consuming a popular drink known as Pepsi. Sompang witnessed the act and became outraged. “You are stealing the inventory!” he cried. “That will not be tolerated!”

Sompang approached the mother and yelled, “Your son is nothing but a common Pepsi Thief!” The words stung like daggers through the aging widow’s heart.

Mao, sensing her mother’s tears, demanded a retraction. “How dare you speak that way to my mother. I insist you apologize for your cruel and unjust remarks.” No apology was forthcoming. She vowed that no man will ever enter her life again.

Mao decided she must begin a new life. “Where will you go?” asked the mother.

“I shall journey to a new land where opportunities arise with each dawning of the sun. It will be a land consisting of fifty states united to form one nation under God with liberty and justice for all.”

Mao did roam far and wide and eventually arrived in the village of Ree No in the kingdom of Ne Vah Dah. Mao spent several years in this sleepy little village, working in restaurants from sun up till sun down. She had no time to learn English, the language of the country. No man was allowed access to her heart.

One day, a dear friend invited Mao to visit her in a city of angels. “If you go to the City of the Angels, you can work in many massage parlors and learn the craft of Siamese Massage. It is quite profitable and an honorable profession.” Mao’s tourist visa had expired, so she was intrigued and left the village of Ree No for the City of the Angels.

Soon after she arrived, another man entered her life. A handsome knight known as Sir Paul delighted her with tales from his life. Unbeknownst to Mao, Sir Paul was a member of an organization called the Masters of the Toast. He was able to speak eloquently and showed a deep interest in Mao. Mao broke her vow and found she was quickly falling in love.

To the knight’s dismay, Mao moved from village to village, through many jobs - sometimes in massage parlors and sometimes in restaurants. Her heart remained in the restaurants. With each new location, she moved – living with friends. She had no home of her own.

All was well, she thought. A new life. A new career. A new love. This was not long lived.

One day, an agent paid a visit to one of the massage parlors where Mao was employed. Mao had neither license nor Social Security Number. “You may not work here,” he said. “You must either become a legal citizen of this country or you will be forced to return to Siam.”

Mao ran to Sir Paul in tears. “Help me, Sir Paul. Help me to stay in this wonderful country. If you marry me, I will be allowed to stay and work and I will love you and take care of you till death do us part.”

Sir Paul was flabbergasted. Was her love for him real or was he being played for a fool? “I shall do no such thing,” said the knight. “There are many methods for becoming a legal citizen. I recommend you investigate it further.” His words were filled with anger, but his heart was filled with sympathy. For he knew a marriage of convenience would be a mistake for both parties.

Applying for citizenship was a lengthy process and not an option Mao wished to exercise. In the City of the Angels, the massage parlors paid more than the restaurants. In the village of Ree No, the restaurants paid more than the massage parlors. Restaurants required no license. Mao made a decision. It was time to move again.

It was time to start a new life again.

It was time to return to the village of Ree No.

“Good-bye, fair Mao,” said Sir Paul. “May you live happily ever after.”

Toastmasters

TOASTMASTER PAUL ABRAMSON REMEMBERS HIS DAYS AT RINGLING BROTHERS’ "BARNUM'S KALEIDOSCAPE"

It was a nice winter day in Chicago at the turn of the century. Ringling Brothers had not done a tent show in over 40 years. I, Paul Abramson, can now add sloughing a tent to my curriculum vitae. Note the Sears Tower in the background. Below is a future performer in training.

When I told my friend I was going to work for a circus, he asked if I was going to wear a funny red hat. I told him no…

… It was a funny blue jacket.

This cart was on display during the premiere performances in Century City, California. It is over 100 years old and was originally used as a ticket booth for the Sells Floto circus.

I brought my circa 1950s Bell and Howell 16mm movie camera with me when I ran away with the circus. Before I lost the irreplaceable viewfinder, I was able to shoot some incredible behind-the-scenes footage which I plan to post soon.


Toastmaster Paul T. Abramson

Ryhmes with Seuss

Toastmasters International
Communications and Leadership Program Manual
Project Five - Your Body Speaks

Ryhmes with Seuss
by Paul T. Abramson

I searched and I searched and I searched in vain.
But my quest just lead to pain.

One day I found myself without a job.
I lived in fear I’d become a slob.

The rent was due.
I had no car.
My life long dream seemed very, very far.

My luck would change.
It was coming back.
My mother, to me, had sent a fax.

It was an ad.
It made me glad.
I read with glee.
I did not frown.
The ad, you see, said the circus was in town.
Come work for the circus and runaway.
Have some fun and get some pay.

This opportunity I could not pass.
To the site, I hauled my ass.

In Century City? Oh, woe is me.
A corporate job it must be.
What is this? This thing I see.
This thing I see in front of me.
To my surprise, a circus tent.
So that is where I went.

The pay was bad.
The perks were good.
I rarely had to purchase food.
With a great health plan,
I’d see this land.
This type of work, I could stand.

I no longer was a failure.
OK, so I lived in a trailer.

I would not call it a dump.
Although the restrooms were Andy Gump.
I lived with people from many cultures.
Some would often behave like vultures.

To them Andy Gump was bad, I think.
They’d leave a calling card in the sink.

First night was great.
We partied long.
Next week we moved.
T’was a different song.

In town one month to do the show.
To many new places, I did go.
I saw the Grand Canyon and the Alamo.

Two days load out. Eight days load in.
That is how we earned our pay.
To do my job I’d watch the show
Sometimes twice a day.
This is bad? I’d never say.
The performances were great.
But it soon became apparent the old lady would always drop the plate.

An archer would shoot and fear no dread
An apple off his own dang head.

No elephants, lions, or tigers, oh geez.
There was an elegant equestrian and a lady with geese.

An acrobat did her act while standing on a pole
Balanced on the head of a man on stilts.
It’s amazing he never tilts.
Precision was part of their role.
I’ll always remember her. She was the one,
I often dreamed would become
The future Mrs. Abramson.
Dream on, Paul. You’re so shy.
You could never be her guy.
The circus was her life, that’s why.

A year went by and some months more.
Sweeping the tent had become a chore.
In many new towns I did roam.
Each town left me with thoughts of home.
I thought of the family I’d love to greet.
And of the newborn cousin I’d love to meet.
I thought of the dream that had passed me by.
Each loan payment I made, I asked
Why, oh God, Why?
Why should I let life be as it is?
Why not be happy?
After all, it’s Show Biz.

I studied to make movies, I know in my heart.
But a job like this I could never part.

My frustration boiled much more than I knew.
I did my job hard and I did my job through.
But it didn’t seem good enough to a fellow I knew.
He made me upset. He made me uptight.
Before I knew it, we had a fight.
I said something awful. I’m sorry to this day still.
I never should have uttered the words “I will kill.”

The next night when I showed up to work
I knew without a doubt I was a jerk.
My days with the circus had expired.
My boss told me I was fired.

Two days on a Greyhound bus home I did ride.
Sleep was something I was denied.
Believe me, God I tried.
But every time I closed my eyes,
The brat behind me cried.

This is now and that was then.
I can always speak proudly of way back when.
It is now just a fond memory.
When I ran away with the circus,
And the circus ran away with me.

Paul T. Abramson is a member of Toastmasters Rising Star Club #1653 which meets on the first and third Tuesday nights each month, 6:00, at Paty's Restaurant - 10001 Riverside Drive, Toluca Lake, California. He is currently serving as Vice President of Public Relations.

Japanese Water Fountain

A fellow Toastmaster from my Rising Star Toastmasters club sent me this video. It is indeed fascinating.

Abortive

Word of the Daze

Abortive: Fine vellum made from the skin of a cast (stillborn) calfor lamb.

Word of the Daze

Today, I am trying something new. Words from the English language of long, long ago.

ABCEDARIAN

(1) A person or book that teaches the alphabet.

(2) A word formed from the first four or five letters of the alphabet.

Well, I guess I should have put the evaluation link first so that the speech would appear on top.

The Little Fox and Issac

This is my first posting of a Toastmasters speech. I am a member of Toastmasters Rising Star Club #1653. This is from the Advanced Communication Series, Entertaining Speaker manual. It was presented on election day, November 4, 2008.

Welcome

This is my first posting on a blog. So here I go...