TOASTMASTERS ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES STORYTELLING MANUAL PROJECT TWO, PART SEVEN

New title:

Mr. Taylor's Penguins
by Paul T. Abramson

To call his version a rough draft was putting it mildly. The script had more holes than a derelict’s underwear. It wasn’t completely his fault. Larry wasn’t too clear on the concept of logic. Where did it take place? Holland. When does it take place? Present day. Would one find gypsies traveling around Holland in horse-drawn carriages in present day Holland? Heck no! I said let’s keep this time and date neutral. No, Larry insisted it take place in present day. To solve this, I suggested we make Shaman and his troupe a traveling circus with claims to former glory. This would give a little political correctness to their appearing in a stereotypical manner most people of that ethnicity would like to shed. They were the good guys.

Speaking of good guys and bad guys, when writing a story, remember this: one protagonist and one antagonist.

The protagonist (aka the hero) is the pivotal character to whom things happen. The antagonist (aka the villain) is the character whose actions set the story in motion. An antagonist does not necessarily have to be evil. His or her motives might be well-intentioned, just like the protagonist might be a criminal.

In the case of Penguinmania, the obvious answer to who is the antagonist is Drachmeyer the zookeeper. As Dave and I dove into the script, we realized it was Show Biz’s story. He had the most at stake. Would he ever get the chance to perform on stage? Would he get to the South Pole? Would he marry Oppie? Would he and Oppie adopt Pee-Wee?

Whatever the answer would be, Larry did know that he wanted a Disney ending. What happens in a Disney ending? The prince and princess get married and live happily ever after.

The wealthy American buys the zoo from Drachmeyer’s mother, Drachmeyer is fired, the penguins return home to the South Pole, Show-Biz and Oppie AND Doubter and Gabby get married in a double wedding ceremony, Pee-Wee is re-united with his birth parents, and Show Biz has his show-stopping number on stage.

Larry gave Dave and me Certificates of Achievement in animation writing and roles as head writers for his soon-to-be-founded studio.

TOASTMASTERS ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES STORYTELLING MANUAL PROJECT TWO, PART SIX

Larry and the Penguins, Part One
by Paul T. Abramson

Now let’s get to work filling in the details.

I canvassed the job board at the office of IFP/West (Independent Feature Project) looking for something that might jump start a stillborn career when an intriguing flyer caught my eye. A producer was looking for writers to collaborate on a screenplay for an animated feature film. He assured those who read the advertisement that, although there was to be no initial financial payback, this would lead to something huge. There was one minor inconvenience. The producer was in Palm Springs and I was in Los Angeles… without a car. Regardless, it sounded like a worthwhile deal, so my writing partner, Dave, and I decided to look into it. We hoped on a Greyhound bus headed to Palm Springs and met Larry Taylor at his preferred location – Carl’s Jr.

When we got there, I suggested we relocate to a place slightly more professional. We meandered to a neighboring Denny’s. Larry did not want to hold meetings at his residence due to a high number of feline roommates. One could only imagine a truckload of Renuzits not being able to resolve an uncomfortable situation.

Larry was a seasoned man who I had reason to suspect might somehow be related to Popeye. He claimed he could sell an igloo to an Eskimo and told us of his plan to produce an animated feature film he conceived titled “Penguinmania”. He was going to pitch the project to toy manufacturers and finance the film by selling merchandise licensing rights. It was a good idea… on paper, that is.

Penguinmania was indeed toyific.

A group of performing penguins – Sloppy, Oppie, Doubter, Gabby, Pee-Wee and Show Biz – escape from evil Herman Drachmeyer’s zoo. They are befriended by gypsies who help them return to their families at the South Pole. South, Larry! Penguins have no interest in going to the North Pole.

Larry showed us rough, repeat rough, model sheets and artwork. He played a tape of songs that had been written for the film. The songs were impressive. In Larry’s words, an animated movie without songs is like a car without wheels. I agree. He then presented us with a draft of the screenplay by another writer. GASP! Larry needed our help STAT!

Dave and I had a writing routine – get together, brainstorm ideas and take turns at the word processor while the other paced about. The original writer, who was still on board, was not used to this method of working.

To be continued...

TOASTMASTERS ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES STORYTELLING MANUAL PROJECT TWO, PART FIVE

Step six – Outline the plot. This is where I list the events that move the story.

1) Paul sees an ad on a bulletin board at the office of IFP/West (Independent Feature Project) and makes an appointment to meet with Larry.

2) Paul and Dave take a Greyhound bus to meet with Larry at a Carl’s Jr. (aka Hardy’s) in Palm Springs.

3) Larry explains his plan and tells Paul and Dave he needs a screenplay rewritten. He needs help turning shucks into gold.

4) Paul and Dave rewrite script. (List the problems with the original draft) and how they were remedied).

5) Larry and his entourage set up meetings with executives at Hasbro and Bandai.

6) Larry is offered money to sell the concept and not the film to another producer. Larry declines. Project fails.

7) Several years later, Larry’s co-producer asks Paul to come up with a concept to present to Cartoon Network at a pitch meeting. The Robucks are born.

Step seven – Decide at what point the story begins and at what point the story ends.

The story of Larry and the Penguins opens with Paul reading an advertisement posted on a job board at IFP/West.

The story concludes when Kevin asks Paul to come up with a concept to pitch to Cartoon Network. This way, we can end the story on a positive note.

TOASTMASTERS ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES STORYTELLING MANUAL PROJECT TWO, PART FOUR

Step two – establish the setting. Where does the story take place?

I’ll narrow it down to two locations:

• Los Angeles, California and

• Palm Springs, California

Step three – List the characters. I’ll limit this to three pivotal characters:

• Paul (me),

• Dave and

• Larry (the producer)

Step four – establish the time:

The mid 1990s

Step five – State the problem or conflict.

Two talented but struggling animation writers accept a deferred-payment writing assignment from a film producer with plans to entice toy manufacturers to invest in the production of an animated feature film.

Fortifying themselves with bottles of Boone’s Farm, the writers tackle the daunting task of rewriting an existing piece of garbage and turning it into a workable screenplay.

The producer’s stubbornness and unwillingness to sell the entire production to an interested, moneyed financier/producer causes the downfall of the project.

As shown in the above paragraphs, the conflict is:

Know when to say, “Sold.”

Or maybe just, "Take the Money and Run".

TOASTMASTERS ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES STORYTELLING MANUAL PROJECT TWO, PART THREE

It is now time to discover the actual point of the story. I am going to have to write a log line.

It was Aristotle who, many eons ago, realized that all well-told stories must contain the following three elements:

A beginning,
A middle, and
An end.

In other words:

Tell them what you’re going to tell them,
Tell them, then
Tell them what you have told them.

Step one on page nine of the manual says, “Write down the point of your story. Keep it to one sentence.”

The point of the story, Larry and the Penguins, is:

Don’t try to sell your product to the wrong market.

In other words:

Would you go to a supermarket with the intent of buying a car?

That’s what I thought.

I urge everybody reading this to please post a constructive critique in the comments sections under the postings and to add this site to your list of blogs you follow.

Thank you.

Paul T. Abramson, CC
VP Public Relations
Toastmasters Rising Star Club #1653

TOASTMASTERS ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES STORYTELLING MANUAL PROJECT TWO, PART TWO

I have decided to base my Toastmasters speech on an event which happened early in my career. I will tell the story of how an animation studio was almost formed. For reasons you will soon learn, I will title this Toastmasters speech, “Larry and the Penguins.”

In this Toastmasters speech, I will explore how valuable friendships/contacts are made, where not to hold a story meeting, how to ruin a pitch meeting and the similarities and differences between toy manufacturers and film producers. I will also answer the question whether or not penguins are the least bit interested in going to the North Pole.

So everybody, please open your Toastmasters Advanced Communication Series Storytelling manuals, turn to page nine, project two - “Let’s Get Personal”, and follow along. Let’s see if I can take the advice from the evaluator of my previous speech – “We Are Not a Muse” - stay on track and follow directions.

I urge everybody reading this to please post a constructive critique in the comments sections under the postings and to add this site to your list of blogs you follow.

Thank you.

Paul T. Abramson, CC
VP Public Relations
Toastmasters Rising Star Club #1653

Toastmasters Advanced Communication Series Storytelling Manual Project Two, Part One

It is mid-January and I am preparing to write my second Toastmasters speech of the year 2009. My previous speech – We Are Not a Muse – was not as successful as my two prior speeches – The Little Fox and Isaac and Sleeping Beauty Awakens. Both won the best prepared speaker award. Therefore, I have decided to take a different approach to writing Toastmasters speeches.

I am currently using the Toastmasters Advanced Communication Series Storytelling manual. Sleeping Beauty Awakens was the first project in this manual. That means I have four more speeches to present in order to qualify for the Advanced Communicator Bronze award.

Speech number two from the Toastmasters Storytelling manual is “Let’s Get Personal”. As I write this speech, I will post my notes on this blog. I will post the purpose, outline, notes and final draft of the speech. This will be followed by a video of the presented speech and a video of the accompanying evaluation.

I urge everybody reading this to please post a constructive critique in the comments sections under the postings and to add this site to your list of blogs you follow.

Thank you.

Paul T. Abramson, CC
VP Public Relations
Toastmasters Rising Star Club #1653

Evaluation - We Are Not A Muse

The following is the evaluation provided
for my Toastmaster speech titled

We Are Not A Muse

Please help me improve by posting your comments
and suggestions in the space below. Thank
you.

Speech - We Are Not A Muse

WE ARE NOT A MUSE

WE ARE NOT A MUSE
by
Paul T. Abramson

According to Greek mythology, there are nine muses. I cannot seem to find any of them. Those nine goddesses that preside over the arts and sciences seem to be ignoring me. Perhaps they are playing a game with me – a game of Hide and Seek.

The players are:

1) Calliope: Epic poetry

2) Clio: History

3) Erato: Song, love poetry

4) Euterpe: Lyric poetry, music

5) Melpomene: Tragedy

6) Polymnia: Sacred poetry

7) Terpsichore: Dance

8) Thalia: Comedy

9) Urania: Astronomy

These goddesses, who throughout the ages have inspired famous writers, artists, musicians, poets, scientists and leaders, are hiding from me.

Where will I find my muse? At a museum? In music? At an amusement park?

Perhaps the question should be, “Do the muses really exist?” If they do not exist, what sparks imagination?

I shall begin my search by asking myself, “What fascinates me?” I will make a list. This list is not in any particular order except for what is coming to my mind first. Perhaps this is because the muses were the daughters of Mnemosyne, the goddess of memory. What do these items have in common?

1) Lighthouses,

2) Vintage amusement park rides, especially antique carousels,

3) The California missions,

4) Vintage/antique toys,

5) Vintage advertising items such as signs and boxes,

6) Classic cartoons, especially anything Walt Disney made prior to 1960,

7) The origin of the romance languages,

8) Vineyards,

9) The classic fairy tales when read in their original text

There are nine items on what could be an endless list.

What do these items have in common?

1) Lighthouses have for many centuries shined a beacon of hope and safety to people through calm and stormy times.

2) Antique carousels are all of the arts rolled into one. They are paintings, sculpture, music and motion. Along with other vintage amusement park rides, they move me back in time.

3) The California missions, many of which are still serving their intended purpose, represent the history of my homeland.

4) Toys are an important part of childhood. Whether or not they are toys I played with, they brought joy to a child and evoke memories. What was your favorite toy?

5) Vintage advertising items such as posters, print-ads and signs are signs-of-times past. They tell me where we have been and perhaps give me a clue as to where we are going. It has a greater value to me if the product advertised still exists.

My grandfather had an old sign on his wall. It consisted of Japanese characters. For a long time, we did not know what it said until somebody who spoke Japanese translated it. Drink Coca Cola.

6) Anybody who knows me knows that classic cartoons, especially those by my hero, Walt Disney, should most likely be number one on my list. Somebody sat down, drew this and made it come to life. I am overjoyed when I see an animated film made by people who, like me, long for the golden age of animation.

7) Although English is not a romance language, it is heavily influenced by those that are. English is my native tongue. When spoken properly it is very beautiful. I believe that knowledge of the origin of the words I speak is a very useful tool.

8) A vineyard gives me the same emotion as that of a lighthouse or the California missions. They bring to mind history and tranquility.

9) The classic fairy tales in their original text give me a glimpse at how my culture and native language have evolved. Unfortunately, they have been edited and censored over the ages.

What do these items have in common? They bring back emotions of times long ago. They are nostalgic. They are history.

Oh, my goddess! It’s Clio. Clio, the goddess of history, is my muse. I have found her!

Have you found your muse?